If You Look In My Life You’ll See What I See

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As I sit here contemplating on the right things to decide, will I take the wrong direction all my life, where will I go what lies ahead of me”.  As those words so eloquently sung by fellow Xscape member LaTocha Scott, words I can relate to, literally I ask myself, where will I go? What really lies ahead of me? There is no expiration date on dreams and aspirations and even as a forty something young woman I’m ready to start living and pursue them.

Sometimes in life we may not know what those things are, how to attain them, when to start or where to go. We are still finding ourselves late in the “game” of life holding on to that passion we have had deep down inside lying dormant and not until a certain time (or age) is it acted upon.  I take a look deep inside and ask myself, why you wait so long? You this age and you should’a, could’a, would’a have done that.  Peers my age have accomplished a lot more than I have with homes, taking trips out of the country, just living looking all happy and what-not and have “made it”. You know what though, my time is my time and sure there are a lot of things I should have done differently. Got me wondering If I would have picked that man and not this one, or if I would have listened to what mama used to say, how much differently would my life have really been. I will never know.

 

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Yes, I want money stacked in the bank, yes, I’m tired of bill collector’s constant calls, yes, I want a home, yes, I really want to make money doing what I enjoy, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! But who do I run to? That is the question. Hmph. Life, it’s something else, we can’t pick and choose it but we can map it out, draw up a blue print, write a table of content, however when those unforeseen road blocks, potholes, dead ends, slippery when wet and road closed signs appear we have got to make adjustments and keep rolling, rolling, rolling.

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My life, my life, my life, my life.

Is It Really All About The Benjamins Dough?

Listen, how many of us women would love to have a man to just come home and lay all the bread on the table? Yea, Cuban bread. Wait, what? That old saying that he got to bring something to the table did not mean bread, literally. We’re talking about dinero, moola, dollar, dollar bill y’all them benjamins baby! And why not?

Some men’s way of thinking about bringing it to the table is their sex game, let’s keep it all the way real. Boy bye! Your nature rising is not going to make my credit score rise. As women we have got to demand more before we get into a relationship. I tell ya hindsight is 20/20. Love oh Love, so many people use your name in vain, in the words of Musiq Soulchild.  Love does not pay the bills. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying it isn’t essential to a relationship but does it really? When’s the last time you told rent, car note, electric and food I’m just gone pay it with Love? I instill in my daughters that if you decide to get in a relationship make sure that person is bringing more to the table than what you have. Someone who is going to elevate you and then you two can elevate together. Be honest now, when you meet someone what are you looking for initially? You are looking for what he or she can do for you so let’s keep it one hundred. Then love evolves, it grows. Hence the saying fall in and out of love, why because it’s an emotion. Come on somebody!

So, is it really all about the Benjamins Dough? No not really. But without it nowadays what can we do? I’ll wait. As a woman who has been married 20 years I know a lil something, something not an expert but knowledgeable through my own experiences. And that old saying if I knew then what I know now, yea right I knew it then just didn’t put it into action. My outlook is so much different now than it was 20 years ago. We have got to stop settling because of love only. Then all of a sudden you’re stuck in a 20 year relationship, in the same place where you started 20 years ago. Doesn’t make sense. So if he ain’t coming with them Benjamins Dough, he can keep making stale bread.